Shirley Harring

writer, farmer advocate, madwoman

Moving Out – Ode to my house

June 21, 2008
14 comments

Ode to my House.
(With apologies to Carole Bayer Sager,  Bette Midler,  and Bruce Roberts )

I stayed up late most nights since we moved in
I didn’t mind ’cause of the state you were in
May I remind you that it’s been 5 years since then

Today the husband well, he said to me
Stop whinging girl, just look what we achieved
All this so you can enjoy a cottage by the sea

So  I packed my toys away
Shots of my boys away
My 45’s away
My school work files away
My cooking supplies away
My old tye-dyes away
My many shoes away
I’m moving out today….

Our nasty habits weren’t confined to bed
My friends came round and looked at me with dread
They thought this whole house was one big bad joke played on me – fool!

Packed up my rubber duck
I just don’t give a fuck damn
Because my sense of fun
Was gone by year one

Packed all my clothes away
Threw my old rags away
I’m going (not too) far away
I’m moving out today

Packed up my fork and spoon
There’s no more moving rooms
There’s no more joists that squeak
My roof no longer leaks

My walls no longer sag
Or smell like old wet rag
People can now come round
and not sit on the ground

Packed up my dirty shoes
What’s left of nails and screws
My stacks of magazines
Man you should hear me scream
My mangy cat can stay
Renovating’s gone away
It’s headed that-o-way
I’m moving out today …

La lala la la laa, la la la lalalalaa. lalalalah lah la lah..

14 Comments

  1. Cripes. If you think your stuff was breeding in closets, imagine what it will do on the deck!

    I have a philosophy about closet space. You will never have enough. Never. I don’t care if you have a home with seventy-eleven closets, they will be jampacked. If you move from that house to a smaller one, your closets will be full. If you move from a house with 3 closets to the house with seventy-eleven closets, you will have seventy-eleven closets full of stuff. It does not matter. You will accumulate enough stuff to fill the empty space.

    This does not apply to anything but closets. I put it to the test. I did try a bigger bra. I did not accumulate enough stuff to fill it.

  2. Poor lass! I know it will happen to us sooner than later so I read your post with concern as we have hardwood floors too except the kitchen and bath. The thought of wall to wall carpet sounds enticing right about now!

    Perhaps if you coat your furniture with preservatives that they’ll better last the elements? Will be self-repelled so that they won’t mingle too much? I enjoyed your imaginative commentary!

  3. Loved the tribute to Carol Bayer Sager!! I will have the tune in my head all day.

    Good idea to get the wine fridge away. God knows what all the furniture would do if they had a few drinks in them!

  4. I’m exhausted just reading about it. It is certainly a better option than staying in the house. I was just talking to some people who became quite ill from the fumes by sleeping in the house too early.

    one week til holidays…

  5. Oh my – I will think of you as I shuffle through my 70s shag pile carpet with all my clutter on its rightful floor or handy piece of furniture!

  6. I feel your stress, but I think you’d feel better if you were a bad housewife like me…instead of a de-cluttering domestic goddess, like my sister :)
    BTW, you’re tagged for a meme…if you feel like it in the midst of crazy!

  7. It WILL be worth it – but packing for floor sanding sucks. We were lucky enough to be taken in by friends near us for a week, and only had 5 rooms being done.

    Thanks for the song – its in my head too now! I’ll have to go and find it in the tapes!

  8. O how I hate packing up, & moving house. We have done it so many times, I should be an expert by now. Every time, I still hoard! WTF is wrong with me!
    Enjoy your ‘holiday’.

  9. I don’t think I could do it, even for new floors. I’m not big on clutter, but just the idea of packing . . . shudders . . . and then unpacking it all . . . Mary likes her sameness.

    When we moved into our home seven years ago I informed my husband that the next time he wanted to move, he could do all the packing by himself.

    Still, congrats on being nearly done with all the fixeruppering. Knowing you’re closing in on having a finished project has got to feel just great.

  10. I don’t think I could do it, even for new floors. I’m not big on clutter, but just the idea of packing . . . shudders . . . and then unpacking it all . . . Mary likes her sameness.

    When we moved into our home seven years ago I informed my husband that the next time he wanted to move, he could do all the packing by himself.

    Still, congrats on being nearly done with all the fixeruppering. Knowing you’re closing in on having a finished project has got to feel just great.

  11. I don’t think I could do it, even for new floors. I’m not big on clutter, but just the idea of packing . . . shudders . . . and then unpacking it all . . . Mary likes her sameness.

    When we moved into our home seven years ago I informed my husband that the next time he wanted to move, he could do all the packing by himself.

    Still, congrats on being nearly done with all the fixeruppering. Knowing you’re closing in on having a finished project has got to feel just great.

  12. Hiya sweetie! You crack me up! I feel your pain….moving stuff is the pits! I hope the rain holds off and it all goes smoothly for you!
    Amanda (aka Cottage Contessa)

  13. We’ve done it once and are looking at replacing floors next year. Thanks for making me dread it even more than I already did. Ditto what Tracey said. I’ll take a nap for you, okay?

  14. I have moved so many times that I truly dread having to do it again. Yet I know that day is coming.

    I hope your time away and the floor work go smoothly and that soon you will indeed be back in your perfect cottage by the sea.

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