Shirley Harring

writer, farmer advocate, madwoman

My Child is an Axe Murderer

February 28, 2009

So there he is, the 11 year old apprentice, ‘helping’ the widow next door remove a very old aloe cactus plant from along side the fence.
When I say helping, I mean that he is cutting it apart with secateurs and she is inside watching TV. Which is fine.
An occasional gate click as the wheelbarrow carries more debris down the driveway indicates all is well.

Click, click, click.

So when an 11 year old  head and shoulders carrying a BIG axe marches past the office window, followed by blonde pigtails of the 6 year old next-door-granddaughter, would my resounding yell of  “Mister 11, NO ! ” surprise any mother?

The mumbled sheepish “OK” is probably no surprise either.

Around an hour later, I go an inspect the bush.

The LITTLE axe is firmly implanted in the woody stock of the base. So firmly, that apparently the BIG axe was to free the little axe.

The little axe snuck past the window all by itself, it seems.

That boy is an accident waiting to happen.


  1. Aren’t all boys?

    I’m not raising any little George Washingtons either. :)

  2. An Australian Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher perhaps?

  3. The trouble is we don’t think like little boys. We have to learn it all the hard way.

  4. Or resourceful and self sufficient. Depending on how you look at it! The wonder of boys.

  5. Those kinda things keep climbing up higher and higher in our shed.
    Off-site storage is looking good soon!

  6. Oh dear Rhubarb! You’ve got plenty more adventure to come with Mister 11. It seems to peak out in the late teens. Dylan is now 22, and really quite a calm and responsible man. He even owns an ironing board and iron. Three years ago, I couldn’t have even conceived of this notion.

  7. My first thought was to look at MY aloe plant, which is all of three inches high. Axe? A plastic butter knife would be the end of the poor little thing. My second thought ran more along the lines of, “Oh, Dear GOD! THIS is my future?!”

  8. Audrey, I am very certain that this plant has been there for at least 50 years, thier house is a time warp 😉

  9. oh no – disaster disaster – well spotted !! le

  10. My parents once received a visit from the local police when my brother decided to shoot at a bird from our yard. Only the bird was flying between our house and another and the bullet firmly lodged in the neighbor’s siding. Mom and Dad were NOT amused.

    The good news is that in your case, Mr. 11 was doing a great job of problem solving!

  11. Oh god, axes. No. Hate axes.

  12. I’m just bracing myself for what K and N will do. I don’t think we have an axe at home…

  13. lol girls can be equally as mischievous, although not having the axe (or indeed the aloe) we haven’t had your problem!!

    I remember at that age my brother and I regularly cut down saplings on various raft and lean-to projects.

  14. I am sorry to get so much laughter out of your horror of what could have been. But it was funny. Sorry.

  15. Much better than the little axe murderer visitor to our place. He took a tomahawk out of our garage & hacked the poor garden gnomes to death!
    Our son came running in to tell us, in much horror. His mother laughed & said “Oh he IS such a rascal!”
    My thoughts turned to wishes of missing toes on the axe wielding little ‘rascal’.!!

  16. *lol* Such a logical plan! If you hadn’t of ruined it for him he may have succeeded (possibly minus a few appendages)

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